It happens for a few months every single year. One day it might be sunny and 63 degrees; the next day it might snow. And then a day or two later, there might be a thunderstorm.
As I write this, such is the weather in my part of the world and in many other regions. Every spring—or really the entire stretch of months from late winter to early summer—this happens. Yet despite this predictable volatility and the uncertainty it engenders, we all act surprised. Upon greeting each other, one might say, “This weather is crazy!” to which the other party would likely respond with matched astonishment along with some additional detail like, “And it’s supposed to be back in the 30s on Tuesday!”
But again, this happens every year.
And the same thing happens with other aspects of life. We’re surprised by the unexpected, when something happens that’s outside of what’s “normal,” when life throws us a curve ball (or a whole volley of curve balls) that we can’t predict. We’re shocked when things don’t go our way, or when something relatively rare ends up being our reality. It’s natural to wonder why and to clench our fists at the unfairness of it all, but I don’t know if any of that is particularly useful.
Death and Taxes
Benjamin Franklin supposedly said that the only certain aspects of life are death and taxes. And while I’d add a few more things to that list of certain things—like the fact that it’s always possible to find meaning and purpose within life’s volatile uncertainty, that we are capable of tremendous resilience and adaptation, and that suffering itself can be redemptive—it seems Franklin was on to something.
The unexpectedly difficult parts of life, what I typically call crucibles, are also unavoidable like death and taxes. For that reason alone they matter. We must face them, like it or not.
Additionally, the crucibles of life change us. Sometimes that change is positive, sometimes it’s not. There’s evidence that we can tip the scales in the positive direction through how we make sense of and react to adversity, but that in no way invalidates the real pain they cause.
Hold on Loosely
We’re well served, it seems, by assuming that life will be unexpectedly hard but that no matter what happens, we can choose our reactions. We can refuse to allow our circumstances to shatter our sense that life is always worth it and that we can always find joy and beauty even amid our toughest times. Doing so, however, requires us to think about things like plans and expectations much differently than we normally do.
Even the most spontaneous humans like routines and predictability at some level. Complete chaos simply requires too much cognitive effort, so we structure our daily lives in ways that enable us to take mental shortcuts. We have our little habits, ways in which we get ready for and go through our days, that help us focus on some things while doing other things with little thought. If you don't believe me, try brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand.
Yet it's our love affair with predictability that can make us fragile. Plans and expectations about the future have a valuable purpose; they're indispensable in helping us make sense of what we're doing and where we're headed. But when they become part of our identity, when we can't function without them and grip them too tightly, we're apt to crumble when life hits us in the face with a sucker punch.
Amid life's many changes and challenges, it’s wise to remember the words of St. Augustine: "God is always trying to give good things to us, but our hands are too full to receive them."
Eyes Wide Open
Given that our lives can--and sometimes do--change quickly due to circumstances completely outside of our control, it makes sense to accept unpredictability and volatility as a given aspect of the human experience. Both social science and ancient wisdom can help us in this endeavor.
In addition to embracing the fact that we will all at some points in life have to navigate the unknown, we can do our best to remain open to new information. We can open up to those around us, many of whom we'll find are willing sources of support.
We can, above all, be watchful. Not just for what might go wrong, but for what's still right. We can watch for those flashes or pillars of beauty, truth, and goodness that are everywhere--if we only dare to notice.