Life is About Interactions

And I had a very good one recently

Quite a few years of life have strengthened my conviction that each and everyone's existence is deeply tied to that of others: Life is not time merely passing by, life is about interactions.

– Pope Francis

One benefit of my unusual career path is that I’ve had the chance to interact with and learn from numerous people across the worlds of business, academia and the military. 

I’ve worked with top executives as they described their triumphs and their challenges, both personal and professional. I’ve worked alongside some brilliant researchers, who opened my eyes to new ways of seeing phenomena all around us. I’ve followed and led military professionals around the United States and in a variety of difficult circumstances around the world. 

I’ve been lucky. 

Another benefit of these diverse experiences has been the realization that time marches on without ceasing and material success is fleeting (and grossly unimportant in the grand scheme of things). What’s important is how you treat people and how you make their lives a little bit better, remembering that in every interaction with our fellow humans we have the choice to breathe life and hope into that situation or not. 

Every interaction is a chance to do that. And those interactions themselves are often fleeting. We have a few chances here and there to encourage a coworker, a friend, or a family member. Moments to recognize someone for something you appreciate about them come and go in a flash. Even the opportunities to help people in our business interactions are often momentary, hinging on a few key conversations to build trust and understanding.

Insights from Pope Francis

In 2017, Pope Francis delivered a TED talk titled, “Why the only future worth building includes everyone.” In his talk, he speaks to all people—regardless of their faith tradition—and he highlights the value of life’s interactions.

He highlights the value in recognizing our human interconnectedness: 

“None of us is an island, an autonomous and independent ‘I,’ separated from the other, and we can only build the future by standing together, including everyone.”

He praises creativity combined with both courage and a respect for the past: 

“Good intentions and conventional formulas, so often used to appease our conscience, are not enough. Let us help each other, all together, to remember that the other is not a statistic or a number. The other has a face. The ‘you’ is always a real presence, a person to take care of.”

He reminds us of the power of hope in the face of despair: 

“Through the darkness of today's conflicts, each and every one of us can become a bright candle; a reminder that light will overcome darkness, and never the other way around.”

And he suggests that humility is central to avoiding the corrupting nature of power: 

“Please, allow me to say it loud and clear: The more powerful you are, the more your actions will have an impact on people, the more responsible you are to act humbly. If you don’t, your power will ruin you, and you will ruin the other. There is a saying in Argentina: ‘Power is like drinking gin on an empty stomach.’ You feel dizzy, you get drunk, you lose your balance, and you will end up hurting yourself and those around you, if you don’t connect your power with humility and tenderness. Through humility and concrete love, on the other hand, power—the highest, the strongest one—becomes a service, a force for good.”

Life is fundamentally about our relationships—and our well-being is often a function of the quality of our interactions with those around us. 

Here’s the full TED talk:

A Splendid Conversation and Interaction

I recently had the opportunity to record a podcast episode with Jessica Lindberg, who has been on a mission for many years to help people unlock their ability to take their unexpected adversity and use it as a vehicle for positive transformation. Like my son, her son died when he was 7 years old—so we’re both part of what bereaved parents sometimes call “the worst club in the world.”

And yet her story—like mine and that of so many others who have endured tragedy—continues to unfold in ways that often include beauty, insight, and joy. That’s not to say life is no longer hard, of course. Engaging in the fullness of the human experience fundamentally opens us to hardship. But the alternative—retreat into supposed comfort devoid of risk—is much worse.

As Pope Benedict XVI wrote in his encyclical letter Spe Salvi, “It is when we attempt to avoid suffering by withdrawing from anything that might involve hurt, when we try to spare ourselves the effort and pain of pursuing truth, love, and goodness, that we drift into a life of emptiness, in which there may be almost no pain, but the dark sensation of meaninglessness and abandonment is all the greater.”

In my conversation with Jess, we covered a wide array of topics from the intersection of social science and faith to aspects of leadership and courage. As interactions go it was an excellent one. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.

If you’re interested, here’s the Spotify link to the episode:

And here’s the episode on YouTube:

If you’re interested in the types of things I often write about, I encourage you to tune in. And thank you, Jess! I really appreciated the opportunity and the wonderful discussion.